Thursday, May 13, 2010

Gun Goons Gone Wild! . . .

The Gunsmoke crowd is hard at work advancing American society back to the Dodge City, Kansas days.

Last month, Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell (R) signed legislation to allow “concealed carry permit holders to bring loaded guns” into establishments that serve alcohol. The law does not permit gun holders to consume alcohol, though the gun lobby is working to get that changed.

Virginia isn’t alone in its quest to arm its bar patrons. The Georgia state house has also passed a bill that would make it “legal to enter a bar or restaurant with a licensed concealed weapon and get drunk,” as long as the individual doesn’t fire the weapon.

Tennessee, too, is trying to follow in Virginia’s footsteps. Last year, the legislature overrode Gov. Phil Bredesen’s veto to pass a law providing gun owners the right to carry their weapons into any restaurant, except those whose predominant business was to serve alcohol. But the law was declared unconstitutionally vague by a state court, so Tennessee is trying again. This time, the law provides “no exclusions for where guns can be carried, as long as permit holders don’t consume alcohol.”

Ahh yes - that good old fashioned, barrel-chested American independence and cultural hegemony!

I mean truly - what could possible go wrong with allowing concealed weapons to be carried in to drinking establishments?

You gotta give the NRA credit - their aggressive, big money lobbying efforts have certainly bought and paid for just about every piece of mind-numbingly stupid gun legislation which they've ever prematurely ejaculated over just thinking about. But I really have to say - allowing Wyatt Earp wannabes to hang out at the local watering hole with their Tec-9's tucked in their waistbands pretty much takes the cake in the overall rank stupidity department.

I am not by any means an anti-gun activist. I grew up in the midwest, hunted, fished, owned and own guns. But there are some fundamentally common sense rules that should simply be adhered to as far as gun ownership goes. One of them is that booze and guns is never a good mix.

So maybe someone can help me understand this - what is it with these conservative, right-wing, teabagging assklowns who feel compelled to openly tote around their Dirty Harry magnums and their Rambo assault rifles in public venues such as restaurants, churches and bars? Sure - there's the occasional media-hyped story about some rogue nut shooting up one of these places, but let's be fucking realistic here -- your chances of being killed by a gun from someone you know is much more likely than your being killed by some random, crazed shooter interrupting your Denny's Grand Slam breakfast or your Sunday praise-the-invisible-cloud-being service.

I've become convinced that these guys who like to puff their chests out and strut around in public with their gun belts strapped on and their military assault rifles slung over their shoulders suffer from the same small penis syndrome disease that seems to afflict these other inferiority complex buffoons - like the ones who drive around urban streets in 2-story tall Monster trucks with their confederate flags flapping from their radio antennas, or these Militia handjobs who dress up in camouflage khakis and face paint and run around in the woods on weekends bayoneting small woodland creatures and pretending that they are saving 'Murrika' from the evil dictator Obama.

When I think of these bed-wetting paranoid tools, I can't help but wonder how this country has made it this far without devolving into one gigantic, real life Deputy Dawg cartoon.


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