Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Contract shmontract!!

Oh this is just too goddamn rich!

Apparently, to protest tax day tomorrow, the Teabaggers are now trumpeting to the lamestream media what they are referring to as "The Tea Party Contract From America."

Here is a list of 10 principles that the Teabugger's contract is "seriously" stating must be prioritized in order for America to survive:

1. Protect the Constitution
2. Reject Cap & Trade
3. Demand a Balanced Budget
4. Enact Fundamental Tax Reform
5. Restore Fiscal Responsibility & Constitutionally Limited Government in Washington
6. End Runaway Government Spending
7. Defund, Repeal, & Replace Government-run Health Care
8. Pass an ‘All-of-the-Above” Energy Policy
9. Stop the Pork
10. Stop the Tax Hikes

Hmmm . . . let's analyze shall we?

1. Protect the Constitution: oh you mean like how Bush and Cheney protected the Constitution by using it as their authoritarian doormat for 8 years? Bite me.

2. Reject Cap & Trade: wingnut code speak for "global warming is a hoax!", willfully ignorant of the facts and the reality that 95% of the world's climate scientists say otherwise.

3. Demand a Balanced Budget: Bwahahahaha! Oh that's beautiful! Bush and the GOP inherit a $280 million dollar surplus from Bill Clinton and proceeded to bankrupt the country. Tell me why it's a priority for you all now, and even more importantly, why I or anyone else should give a shit what you think!?

4. Enact Fundamental Tax Reform: most Americans paid less in taxes this year - what's wrong with that??

5. Restore Fiscal Responsibility & Constitutionally Limited Government in Washington: another Bwahahahaha! do you fucking people really believe the bullshit you spout??

6. End Runaway Government Spending: unless there's some small, ass-backward country with brown people, a conscripted army, and no air force or navy in it that we can invade and bomb to smithereens right? right?

7. Defund, Repeal, & Replace Government-run Health Care: of course, because 40,000 unneeded American deaths due to lack of access to basic health care and 35 million citizens with no health care whatsoever does not constitute any semblance of a moral or fiscal cost to the country whatsoever! (I swear these Teabaggers ranks swell with morons).

8. Pass an ‘All-of-the-Above” Energy Policy: they say "All-of-the-Above" but in actuality they mean solely "Drill Baby Drill" - and the cycle of dependence on Mid-East oil is not abated and the human journey down the rabbit hole to climate Armageddon merrily continues on it's way.

9. Stop the Pork: this is probably the one principle we can reasonably agree on - but once again I ask where were these voices of concern during the Bush years when the GOP had control of all three branches of government plus the executive and spent America into the poor house?

10. Stop the Tax Hikes: [see principle no. 4] Obama has pretty much kept his promise that a majority of Americans would see their tax burden reduced this year so I ask the question again -- what the fuck is wrong with that??

Alright - time for an uninhibited moment of 'truthiness' ok?

America, in the bizarro world-view of your average Teabagger, appears to have "lost it's way" at the precise moment that the skinny Black Democrat from Chicago gained 8 million more votes than their chosen candidates. True or false? I've yet to have a single conservative say 'false' to that question and back up their answer with anything remotely resembling honesty or coherency. But what can one expect from people who refuse to acknowledge the fact that three fourths of the current $11 trillion dollar national debt was incurred under Republican Presidencies?

If it seems like I am being smugly dismissive of this shiny new Teabagger "contract from America" - it's because I am. 8 fucking years of standing mutely on the sidelines watching Bush, Cheney and the GOP flag waving fuckheads drive the American Dream bus off a cliff and only NOW do these people see there's a problem?? I've made my views known about these Johnny-come-lately Teabaggers quite bluntly in a few recent posts and those views have not fluctuated - they can all Go Fuck Themselves.


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