Friday, August 20, 2010

Two pea(heads) in a pod . . .

Well isn't this a lovely pairing?

Glenn Beck has tagged aging rocker/gun nut Ted Nugent to speak at his 8-28 Gathering of Fuckheads. Nugent in recent years has a childish habit of strutting around on stage toting assault rifles and other various extensions of his small penis and threatening to use them on Democratic politicians.

The "Nuge" is the kind of "man" my conservative buddies drool over. In fact, I'd say they probably find themselves forced to stifle the onset of a raging hard on whenever they see and hear old Ted blustering and chest thumping about his guns and his manhood (usually on Fox News - where else?).

But here's something a lot of people don't know about Mr. Nugent. Many years ago, there was a nasty and bloody little war in a far off placed called Vietnam. It just so happens that he-man Ted was of U.S. draft age while that war was in full swing with an endless assembly line of dead American soldier's body bags being shipped back home.

So what did he-man Ted do when he was called up by his local draft board for a pre-draft physical in preparation for serving his country? If you guessed that he-man Ted was so eager to ship out to Vietnam and to gallop forth into battle with his fearless ego and his beloved guns blazing against the evil Viet Cong that he disavowed personal hygiene for a month and showed up at the draft board in clothing that he'd slept, pissed in and shit in for a week, you'd be right on the fucking money. The draft board obviously questioned Mr. Nugents mental status and sent him home. And thus America was denied a soldier hero.

After the draft board incident he-man Nuge demonstrated his courage and his humility and his sorrow at not being able to defend America from the communist hordes by making this statement:

“But if I would have gone over there, I’d have been killed, or I’d have killed all the Hippies in the foxholes. I would have killed everybody.”

Now there's a "real" man's man for ya huh?

Ted recently has been hanging out with some folks who mmmm ... lets say seem to have a wee bit of a problem with dark skinned people, Jews and foreigners.

Anyhow, I think it's fitting that the coward and closet bigot Beck invited a fellow coward and open bigot like Ted Nugent to a rally which takes place on the anniversary of Martin Luther King's "I have a Dream" speech and which the Beckster bills as his rally to "reclaim the civil rights movement."

Who says wingnuts have no affinity for divine comedy?


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